November 2011
3 posts
i’m sitting on the dirty carpet in l’s basement. everything smells like ferret piss. i might be young but i am not afraid of you and your razor blades and mirrors and scales. prior to this moment i had never seen cocaine in real life but something in me wants it badly as soon as it appears. the careful actions of weighing, cutting lines, rolling dirty bills and inhaling are propelled...
i am alone now
i feel stupid and immature and irrational but i also feel relieved and calm. somewhere deep down i know he will notice but maybe that’s what i want, all i’ve ever wanted, his attention.
i am back in control. everything is going back to the way it used to be. nothing is more perfect than these clean, tidy, parallel lines. i want to believe that i don’t need anything else, not...